At the age of 55 and after a 27-year marriage, a 4-year relationship with a woman after my divorce and a whole lot of research and thought, I think I might have this whole relationship thing figured out. That is a “relationship” with another woman. Actually, I’m about 90 percent sure what I’m looking for in a woman. I don’t know if I’ll ever be entirely sure, but I think I can share what I know.…so far.
First of all, I’ve never been that social. Until recently, I didn’t think I really needed anyone, let alone a woman by my side. I’m very self-sufficient, and I really like the freedom of not sharing my life with anyone. Or so I thought. I don’t know if it’s a biological or psychological change in me as I grow older, such as fear of heights or a dislike of stupidity, but I actually do feel lonely at times. I’ve got work, my extracurricular activities, and some people that I hang out with sometimes. I’ve come to realize that I’m still a little lonely. As much as independent me doesn’t want to admit it, I think I really need a woman in my life, other than my mother. It’s a companionship thing.
I could hang out with male friends of mine all day, but that doesn’t fill the void of what a woman has to offer as a “companion.” For me, it’s the little things like the connection that comes with looking into her eyes or a simple touch of her hand or holding her and of course a soft or passionate kiss. As a companion, a woman adds a whole new dimension to a man’s life. One that’s not based on ego, competition, sports, alcohol or testosterone. One that, in my opinion, is based on mutual respect, attraction, intimacy and caring for one another.
Sexual intimacy is an extremely special part of any relationship with a woman even at my age! I crave the erotic sensuality, the giving of yourself and the emotional and physical euphoria of being sexually intimate with a woman that you’re entirely in to or even in love with. It’s indeed a magical moment and naturally, for me, something that I don’t get from my guy friends. With all of that being said, I’m still kind of picky when it comes to finding a woman that I really like!
I believe that there are certain traits in a woman that I’m looking for that make her the girl for me. A sense of humor is something that’s important in any relationship. Who wants to be with someone that is always serious? I think common interests are good but not necessarily essential. For me, it’s more important to find someone that you’re compatible with. Someone that you get along with and “gets you.” An intelligent woman has always been attractive to me. Preferably someone smarter than me, which isn’t really that hard to find. And, of course, there are the obvious things that most men, as well as myself, look for in a woman. I like women that are at least somewhat attractive and who try to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle.
As I’ve gotten older, some of my priorities have changed as far as what I’m looking for in a woman to spend time with or the rest of my life with. Specifically, the weight of each of the above criteria as far as what I’m looking for. For instance, back in the day, attractiveness was the most important thing for me, but now, a few more “categories” are more important such as compatibility and someone who “gets me.” One thing is for sure, and that is the fact that I have come to realize how important having a woman in my life is.
By Mike C