Solitude

Solitude has helped me find a type of meditation and inner peace in the most mundane things. While alone on Easter Sunday, I decided to make some yoga eye pillows. I pulled the fabric out and started the process of ironing. Spray water, slide the iron, move my hand along the material to smooth it out. Repeat. I began to feel a calmness come over me. I continued to pull more pieces of fabric out of the box, and after what seemed like hours, my focus and mind returned to the present moment. I realized I had slipped into a state of serenity, a place of calm, no stress, no worry. My heart had slowed, and the feeling of loneliness had vanished.

I began to think about all the things that brought me peace…my yoga, gardening, vacuuming, surfing, hiking, riding my motorcycle, running, staring at the hummingbirds through my sliding door, and just sitting on top of a mountain gazing out. I understood at that moment if I allow myself the time, I will find that state of mind where time stands still, I will hear my heart beating loudly, and all other sounds will vanish until even the sound of my heart is silent. 

I have always intended to bring the practice of meditation into my life but never found the time. What surprised me was my revelation that I had been meditating for years without knowing it. I had been transcending my mind to another place all along, and discounting the benefits and happiness it brought me because I was doing projects wishing others were with me. What this Easter Sunday’s solitude allowed me was to realize the heightened awareness within me, while I performed a simple task. 

My life does not have to be hard, stressful, always organized, or measured. It does not need to have anyone else in it at all times. I can listen to my thoughts, be kind and loving to myself, and believe in what I know is true. I don’t need the acknowledgment of anyone else but will listen to their words and take in what I feel is beneficial to my wellbeing. 

Sometimes life needs to get out of control so we can find what’s truly important to us. We will then be more receptive to realizing what we had to begin with, what was already there. Then we can start to use our gifts and become stronger, true to ourselves, sure of who we want to be and love who we are. Solitude and silence taught me this, and I will forever be grateful.

Can solitude be my source of hope and new energy? I don’t shy away from it. I take a minute to calm my mind, heighten my senses, and listen to my heart. It will help me to decide the direction I need to go. 



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