Relationship Tune-Up

How do I begin? I guess I can start with the point (I believe) that most couples, especially if they have been together for a long period of time, may need a relationship tune-up. It could mean seeing a marriage counselor, joining a couples group, or reading self-help books. It could be all of these.

My husband and I went through a rough patch last year, and we are currently seeing a marriage counselor. It was the best decision for us and our marriage. The one thing we both have always agreed upon is that we are committed to this union and working on it. Even after 25 years of marriage, we needed help communicating with each other.

With counseling, we are learning not only to communicate better with each other but why we do the things we do and say the things we say. Needless to say, everyone has buttons, and they do get pushed, usually by the one you love. It’s learning to recognize the buttons, to communicate more lovingly, and to remember what brought you together in the first place. We are finding out that we have a healthy relationship, but it takes work. And yes, it’s 24/7!

You have to be willing to work at your relationship. Things will come up which need to be addressed. It could be one of you working too much, finances, feeling not loved, and more. It takes listening to your partner, really listening and absorbing what they’re saying, and not thinking about what you need to say next. Also, learning to use the right love language with each other. The way you express your love may be completely different from your partners, and it’s okay. Yes, it’s work to keep going, but if you’re with the right person, you’ll come together rather then fall apart, and all the hard work will be worth it.

Here’s an affirmation I found while writing this post. I hope it strikes something in you as it did me.

I  T.H.I.N.K. before I speak…

T- is it true

H- is it honest

I- is it inspiring

N- is it necessary

K- is it kind

How do you keep your relationship going?

 

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