We had our second Women Helping Others Advance (WHOA) meeting this past Sunday and it was wonderful. Everyone was involved in the discussion and a lot of great information was exchanged by all. The topic for the evening was personal insecurities.
We talked about how most of us feel insecure sometimes, and that some of us feel insecure most of the time. We gave examples of why we may be insecure like the kind of childhood we had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, or having a critical parent or partner. We also discussed ways to possibly help in overcoming insecurity. Maybe one or more of the following suggestions may help you.
Don’t judge yourself. Feeling insecure is hard enough, and beating yourself up for having those emotions in the first place won’t do you any good.
Be your own BFF. Say things to yourself that your best friend (or anyone else who really loves you) would say to you when you’re majorly doubting yourself.
Cut out the people who make you feel less than. So, if you have a friend who’s always bringing you down, it might be time to distance yourself from them. When you need advice and support, go to the people who always cheer you on and genuinely want to see you win.
Focus on baby steps and take the pressure off yourself. You can start making progress by simply taking little steps to build up your confidence and push yourself out of your comfort zone in ways where the stakes aren’t so high. For example, if social insecurities are your struggle, begin by just saying hello to someone new or talking to just one person at a party. It’s those small steps that eventually give you the confidence to do the bigger, scarier things. Remember, it’s all a journey.
What works for me is facing what I usually don’t want to face. Ya, it takes a little courage to focus on what I’m struggling with but it’s that courage that will give me the confidence that I need. I’m not one to speak in public easily. One-on-one is easier for me. But I take a deep breath and just begin. If it makes sense, it gets a little easier as I get older. Maybe it’s learning to shift my perspective on things. Maybe it’s figuring out what trips me up and turning it into an opportunity to practice new skills. As always, I’m a work in progress.
Affirmation: Even though I’m feeling insecure, I am willing to love and accept myself anyway.
(Please join us for our next WHOA meeting on February 23rd at 630p (details to follow). Megan Fenyoe, LCSW, will be our guest speaker. We hope to see you there!)
As always, thank you for taking the time to read our blog. We appreciate your time and support.
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