The necklace you gave me broke today

I got home after a long drive,
trying to make sense of this aftertaste  
The truth is a strange mix of disappointment and confusion
after the initial elation of getting to be touched by you again

I don’t care about names,
Who’s who of what
I am a free woman and I serve love
And in many ways
I do love you
I realize that I care about my soul more

I am the keeper of my soul
In choosing to walk that path
I represent all souls

Being the keeper of my soul is the only way I can offer you a safe space for your soul
It is the only way I can give anyone good love

Sometimes strangers get to have the best of us
Because without the obligations that permeate the mundane of real life,
without the solid trail of life,
behind us or before us
We can be free
And it is a good feeling
For the moment,
A place where we both can rest
from the weights of identity and expectations
A space where we can be new again

But then comes the aftertaste

I have tried to disconnect from the truth and tell myself
That it is ok
That I can be ok with this
But on the drive home
I realize I cannot keep my power
and accept this

I am left here with a strange feeling in my heart
And I know myself enough
to say it is not a good feeling

I realize I do not feel empowered
from loving you
I feel lost
and more than a little confused

So I let you go
And I wish you well

As I pull the broken piece
from my neck,
I reclaim my power

By Jamie Shadowlight


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