Forgiveness

I am human, which makes doing certain things in life a challenge. Forgiveness is one of those things. Forgiveness on the upside can free up space in your heart. It can lift that heavyweight that drags you into a place of desperation and depression. It brings color back into a grey existence. It allows you to move on and shut the door to the past. It will enable you to focus on the present and enjoy your journey. Forgiveness is not easy, but nothing worth something in this life comes easily.

Have you ever gotten so pissed off that everything else went wrong that day? Stop and think about the negative energy you bring to yourself. You didn’t project any of that frustration to the person or thing that upset you. You only hurt yourself. Forgiveness works by allowing you to let go of anger, permanently repelling it away from you. If you hold onto the hurt, those negative feelings keep swirling around in your brain, causing damage. By letting go, you are no longer responsible for situations out of your control or the actions of others. Easier said than done.

I’ve had people who I thought were friends hurt me. What usually happens is that I go through these stages, processing my emotions. Depending on what happened, this can take days, months, or years to get through. When I have made my peace, I am then able to forgive the person fully and completely. I can say, without a doubt, the older I am the faster I forgive. I have come to realize life is too short to hold a grudge, and the physical ramifications it places on me is no good. 

One of the hardest people for me to forgive was my ex-husband. I wanted answers to questions he wasn’t able to give. I wanted to know how he could do the things he did to me. After some thoughtful analysis, and perspective from family and friends, and my personal growth, I realized my ex-husband is incapable of being sorry for anything he had done. He didn’t think he had done anything wrong. For many years I wanted an apology from him, but the truth is I need to forgive him and move on. The power is within me. I don’t need anything from him, and that feeling is fantastic. Once I realized that was all I needed to do, I let go and I was free. All the pain and suffering was gone. 

If you still have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness, here’s another word to ponder, Karma (car-ma). It means the result of a person’s actions as well as the actions themselves. It is a term about the cycle of cause and effect. According to the theory of Karma, what happens to a person, happens because they caused it with their actions. If you are kind and forgiving, forgiveness will come back to you. 

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