Conversations with your adult children…
One of the greatest feelings a parent can have comes when your adult children ask for your advice or want to hear about some of your life lessons.
I’m a parent that has always been open and honest with my children. If they wanted to know something, I told them. No made up stories. It was real life all the way. As their mom, I felt it was my responsibility to decide how and when information would be shared with each of them. They had completely different personalities. This created some controversy over the years but I stand by my decision. To some, that may seem a bit extreme, my girls being privy to so much of the real world at such a young age. I have to admit there are things their father and I told them we probably should not have. That being said, my girls became strong, stable, independent young women and none the worse for wear.
As your children mature and realize you are a good resource, the adult child/parent relationship takes on a new dynamic and it’s amazing. This is just one more step along your path as you walk through life as a mom, dad, step mom or step dad. I have been fortunate to have had many conversations like the one I just had with my soon-to-be son in law and eldest daughter. This was for me extra special because they’ve been thinking about their future together and want to do everything in their power to have a happy and healthy marriage.
They ask me to tell them stories about the 30+ year relationship with my ex-husband. They want me to share what I felt was the best thing about my marriage and those things I would have done differently. They ask me if I could change only one thing, what would that be. The three of us talked for several hours. I admitted fully all my mistakes and assigned no blame to either my ex or myself. People change and life happens. We both could have done things differently. He is the father of my beautiful daughters and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
It was an amazing feeling, sharing those life lessons with the kids that day. As a parent it can be extremely gratifying sharing your vulnerability. No one is perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes. That is proof you are growing.
“There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way.” By Dave Willis