I don’t care what kind of relationship you’re in…marriage, friendship, parent/child, co-worker, etc…it takes work, it takes hard work. But why does it have to be 24 hours, 7 days a week type of work? I don’t know about you, but I find it draining at times.
Being in a good relationship does take hard work and keeping the relationship going over years is not an easy thing to do. You can’t be lazy about it. You have to do the work. But remember, you can do the hard work and still have a joyful, loving, life-affirming, and fun relationship. If doing well at your work/career takes work, staying in shape takes work, why shouldn’t having a good relationship take work, too? There are a few things we can all do to help keep our relationships going.
Think about what you say before you say it. Thinking about whether what you’re about to say might hurt the other person can be a relationship saver. You can’t take back what has already been said.
Try to put the other person first. You don’t know if the other person has had a bad day, or is not feeling well. Ask how they’re doing.
It’s easy to be demanding or critical, but as hard as it may be sometimes, just be nice. Sometimes we have to behave in ways that are difficult but in the long run, will be helpful. That could mean being less irritable, showing less anxiety, communicating with love, or just listening. My husband will let me know that I need to be a little nicer at times. I’m working on it.
Also, being in a good relationship should not be one-sided. If there’s no reciprocation from the other person, it might be time to say goodbye to the relationship. I’m at the point in my life where I don’t have the time or energy to be the only one holding up a relationship. This goes for the high maintenance (as I call them) or needy relationship too. If you want to be an acquaintance, that’s one thing, but if you want a good relationship, the other person needs to put in the hard work too.
I’m so grateful to have the loving relationships that I do have in my life. I couldn’t live this life and walk this journey without them.
“Relationships take work. Not during your free time, not when you feel like it…all the time.” — unknown
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